I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
