Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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