Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
