what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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