I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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