My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
