i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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