I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
