Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
