I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
