Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
