I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
