Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
