Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
