that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
