Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
