omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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