You can't special order awesome
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
