Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
