We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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