I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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