Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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