a queef is a wish your heart makes.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I will be naked everywhere
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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