I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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