i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
