YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
accomplished twins. life is a go
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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