i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
