im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
