she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
