My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
