just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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