i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
