you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
