i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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