people are starting to question the shark bite story
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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