is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
