Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I understand Curling. That high.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
