i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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