Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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