i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
