I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
