The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
