I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
