id be glad to
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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