Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
