i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
