We're facebook friends in real life
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
