i barfeds in our rink
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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