lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
