so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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