Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
