Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
